Feeling lost and out of it..

I spent probably 55% of my day yesterday thinking about work today. Dreading it. Worrying about it. Wondering why I wake up so early to go to a job I don't like. I have to. That's my response to that nagging question. In the western world people have options to live their jobs and pursue careers in art or homemaking. In Kenya, the corporate world is our ticket to happiness (or so we think!). A well paying job in a huge corporation is our definition for success. Never mind how stressful and emotionally draining it can be. But do we have a way out? Is it possible to live a comfortable and happy life of authenticity in Kenya? (please feel free to indulge me)I used to wonder why I couldn't fit into the system. Am I lazy or backward or a coward. I ask myself over and over again.
But I've come to this conclusion, that our search for our authentic selves cannot be deterred by social barriers and stereotypes. I must never be afraid to seek the truth about who I am regardless of how cast out and broke and alone I might feel. Because for me, knowing who you don't want to be is a step towards finding my true self. It may not be clear how my life will turn out but one thing I know for sure is that I don't want to be soulless and lost in this corporate illusion of happiness.